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Pasted by Anonymous, 2017-06-05 14:06:06 GMT
Expires Never
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  1.  A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground. You look pretty hungry...  
  2.  Maybe there's something meaty and delicious here to Trap.  
  3.  You'll need some wood to build stuff...  
  4.  There's a weird impish little creature in the trap. A Trimp, you decide to call it. Since you're so creative, you could probably train this Trimp to help out.  
  5.  This planet feels so familiar, yet so foreign. Maybe it's time to start sciencing things.  
  6.  War... what is it good for? Exploration, or something.  
  7.  Doesn't seem like all of these little guys will fit in your ship. Luckily, you remember how to make small huts for shelter.  
  8.  It's starting to get pretty crowded up in here. Maybe you should start building some better housing.  
  9.  Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant.  
  10.  A nice Shed would allow you to keep more wood on hand.  
  11.  The food stores are getting pretty full, maybe you should start thinking about a Barn.  
  12.  A nice Forge would allow you to store more metal.  
  13.  Your Trimps killed a lot of bad guys back there. It seems like you're getting the hang of this. However, the world is large, and there are many more zones to explore. Chop chop.  
  14.  By your orders, your scientists have begun to try and figure out how large this planet is.  
  15.  You order your Trimps to search the area for the keys to your ship, but nobody finds anything. Bummer.  
  16.  Do you see that thing at the end of this zone? It's huge! It's terrifying! You've never seen anything like it before, but you know that it is a Blimp. How did you know that? Stop knowing things and go kill it.  
  17.  You step over the corpse of the Blimp as it rapidly deflates, and one of your Trimps chuckles at the sound produced. You all cross the sulfuric river to the next zone, and can feel the presence of an ancient knowledge. Better explore.  
  18.  You found your first map! Travel to your map chamber to check it out.  
  19.  Slow and steady wins the race. Unless you're racing someone who is actually trying.  
  20.  Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help.  
  21.  You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?  
  22.  Looks like another Blimp up ahead. Hard to tell from far away, but it looks like it has more heads than the last one.  
  23.  You're unstoppable as long as nothing stops you. Unfortunately, it seems like something really wants to stop you.  
  24.  Did you see that green light flash by? Weird. Oh well.  
  25.  Your scientists have finally concluded their report on the analysis of the size of the world. According to the report, they're pretty sure it's infinitely large, but you're pretty sure they just got bored of checking.  
  26.  You were trying to help bring back some of the Equipment your Trimps left on the ground in that last zone, and you got a splinter. This planet is getting dangerous, stay alert.  
  27.  Another day, another Blimp at the end of the zone  
  28.  You just made a map to The Block!  
  29.  You just made a map to The Wall!  
  30.  Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?  
  31.  You climb a large cliff and look out over the new zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!  
  32.  There seems to be a strange force urging you to keep going. The atmosphere is becoming... angrier. Part of you wants to turn around and go back, but most of you wants to keep going.  
  33.  You look behind and see your kingdom. You have gems, a colony, and territory. You wonder if enough Trimps have already fallen in battle. After contemplation, one word falls out of your mouth as you begin to move forward. 'Nah'  
  34.  You can sense that you're close to your goal.  
  35.  You look down and see a green gem that seems to stare back. You pick it up and feel adrenaline surge through your body. Probably best to bring this back to the lab for some research.  
  36.  The world feels a little bit less angry as you fire off your handy Portal Generator. You can tell that somewhere in some dimension, a Megablimp is no more. In front of you, 45 helium and a green, shining box appear on the ground. In tiny writing on the box, you can make out the words 'Time portal. THIS SIDE UP'.  
  37.  Strange, the sky seems to be getting darker. You ask one of your Trimps for the time, but he doesn't know what a clock is.  
  38.  You're a rebel. The universe pointed you into that portal, but you kept pushing forward. You feel... less like you've been here before.  
  39.  It seems like the further you press on, the less you know. You still feel an urge to use the portal, though the urge has begun to dwindle.  
  40.  Your Trimps came up with a pretty catchy battle song that got stuck in your head. None of them survived the next fight though, and you can't remember most of it. Life's tough.  
  41.  You climb over a large hill that was separating this zone from the last. The sky is pitch black and lightning crackles in the distance. This is a site of heavy corruption.  
  42.  There is something strange about this map. It doesn't seem to reflect any light at all, just pure darkness.  
  43.  You start to wonder how long you've been doing the same thing over and over. There must be something you can do to start to break the cycle. Perhaps you could alter the portal...  
  44.  You can't help but notice that the Trimps seem to be the only creatures on this planet not immediately hostile towards outsiders. You ask a nearby Trimp soldier what he thinks you are, and he drools a bit.  
  45.  The world seems so barren out this far. You feel like you're finally starting to get ahead of the curve, but you know by now not to get comfortable.  
  46.  Each day and night seems to grow longer than the one before. Is time slowing down? Argh! You fall to your knees with a splitting headache and a strong desire to use the portal. After a few minutes, it passes and you forget what happened. What are we talking about?  
  47.  All traces of hills and mountains have long since been trudged past. The world is flat and hostile. You wish your Trimps were better conversationalists.  
  48.  As your Trimps scavenge every last bit of helium from that Blimp, one of them begins freaking out. He runs around waving his little arms and making funny noises for a while, eats some dirt, then takes a little nap. You wonder if that's normal. Yeah... probably fine.  
  49.  It's been a long time since you've found any blueprints in the maps. You start to wonder where those things even come from.  
  50.  Your scientists have detected an anomaly at the end of Zone 59. They recommend that you stop doing whatever it is that you're doing.  
  51.  As you get closer to the anomaly, you start to notice more and more strange behaviour from your Trimps. Holes in your memory are starting to become noticeable as multiple existences blend in to one. Trippy.  
  52.  As you get closer to the anomaly, you start to notice more and more strange behaviour from your Trimps. Holes in your memory are starting to become noticeable as multiple existences blend in to one. Trippy.  
  53.  A loud boom echoes in the distance, and one of your Trimps runs up to you with outstretched arms, looking quite frightened. He probably just wants some armor and weapons! You hand him some gear, and he accepts it with excitement.  
  54.  A huge storm has formed and daylight has become a luxury you have mostly forgotten about. Your Trimps seem to want to go back home, but you're pretty sure you're supposed to keep going this way, so you do. You're very close to the anomaly.  
  55.  There it is. The anomaly is at the end of the zone. You can see it but you don't know what you're seeing. Where did that... thing... come from?! This is highly Improbable.  
  56.  The ground instantly cracks and large plumes of green gas escape from the planet's core to the atmosphere. The planet feels different. Everything feels different. This Universe has grown unstable, the planet has broken. What have you done?  
  57.  Other than all the dead Trimps, that wasn't so bad.  
  58.  You feel more powerful than ever. The universe seems to be constantly adjusting itself to get rid of you, yet you rise against and persist. Something as tiny as you taking on an entire universe!  
  59.  You figure some entertainment wouldn't be awful, and decide to teach your Trimps how to play soccer. A few hours and zero progress later, you really regret that decision.  
  60.  The Improbabilities haven't seemed to slow down. You know you need to figure out a plan, but you don't know what to plan for.  
  61.  You slash through another Improbability with relative ease, but something isn't right. A sour smell hits your nose and in disgust, you whip around in search of the source. Oh, wait, it's just the Trimps.  
  62.  When's the last time you made a map? You have a feeling you should probably do that.  
  63.  Whew, that was an exhilarating kill. You decide to reward your Trimps with some Improbability stew. It's pretty tasty.  
  64.  That stew was probably a bad idea. Anyone else feeling sick?  
  65.  An ancient and fuzzy memory just crept back in to your head. You're not quite sure where it came from, but you know the memory is yours. You remember being on a ship, and seeing this planet from orbit. There was someone with you!  
  66.  You found The Prison! You have a bad feeling about going in...  
  67.  Bits and pieces of memories continue trickling back in as you continue to put distance between yourself and the source of Anger. You can almost see in your mind who you came here with. Where could they be...  
  68.  You decide to ask your scientists to come up with an extravagant machine that can scan your brain for old memories to see if there's anything helpful up there. They seem excited about a new project and quickly get to work.  
  69.  You hear a huge explosion from the science lab and realize that the brain scan machine will probably never be finished.  
  70.  Need some motivation? You can do it! Maybe.  
  71.  You stop dead in your tracks. You remember who you came here with, and you remember that you are not happy with Captain Druopitee for bringing you here. You know he landed with you. You know the ship is still here. He's here.  
  72.  You call a meeting with all of your Trimps to explain the situation. After giving an extremely long, epic, and motivational speech but hearing no reaction from the crowd, you remember that your Trimps cannot understand you. Will you ever learn?  
  73.  How long have you been trapped on this planet? Months? Decades? Travelling through time sure screws up your chronological perception.  
  74.  Though you have no idea which direction your home planet is, you still believe the ship's GPS could get you home. Maybe Druopitee has the keys. You really want to find him.  
  75.  You just remembered what a taco was. You could really use a taco right now.  
  76.  Your stamina is quickly dwindling. Trying to keep up with so many more extra Trimps each zone is beginning to wear you down. You'll need to practice fighting with stronger, smaller groups to succeed.  
  77.  Woah, you have a lot of Trimps right now. You hadn't really stopped to think about just how many individual Trimps you have directly under your control in a while. Neat!  
  78.  You smell metal and gears, and suddenly feel like you should run a map.  
  79.  You found a map to the Bionic Wonderland. Sounds fun!  
  80.  You decide to sit down and take a breather, when suddenly a Trimp comes waddle-galloping towards you holding a piece of paper. Hurriedly scrawled on the paper is a drawing of a strange weapon and piece of armor, along with numbers that seem to be dimensional coordinates. You would ask where he found it, but you know better by now.  
  81.  You can't stop thinking about where that Trimp found the coordinates for the Slow dimension. Why can't whatever is helping you just come out and help you?  
  82.  Ugh, your back is getting sore. It seems like travelling back in time does not reverse the ageing process for the traveller. Bummer.  
  83.  One of your scientists has informed you that his team was able to successfully create a cure for a non-existent disease. He explains that it's best to be prepared. You sigh heavily.  
  84.  One of your scientists has informed you that an outbreak of a new disease was detected in the laboratory. You go to check on your scientists, and it's quite obvious that they're faking it for attention. You sigh heavily.  
  85.  You spot another scientist running full speed towards you. He hurriedly informs you that they discovered a new dimension near Zone 35 that is occupied by gigantic Trimps. You sigh heavily.  
  86.  Another scientist is coming. You sigh heavily. He says something dumb. You decide to ignore the scientists for a little bit.  
  87.  It sure is calm and peaceful now. You watch a Falcimp turn a few circles in the sky. You wouldn't mind having wings, but overall you're pretty happy with your species.  
  88.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  89.  There's a scientist jumping around trying to get your attention. There's nothing interesting in the sky so you pretend to be fascinated with a rock. The scientist can see you're busy and waits patiently.  
  90.  Your Scientists are not making it easy to ignore them. You not-so-calmly ask what they want. One of them explains that they discovered a new dimension with lots of extra helium. You'll probably check it out, but you won't tell them that.  
  91.  Wow. These structures are getting expensive. There's probably a dimension for that...  
  92.  You remember a person from your past. From your old life. There's someone you need to get back to. You'll make it back.  
  93.  You watch in amazement as a Trimp grabs on to one of those weird tree things and swings around by its arms. These things are getting pretty strong.  
  94.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  95.  You watch in less amazement as a Trimp tries to take a bite out of a very large rock. These things are not getting much smarter.  
  96.  That's quite a sunset. You know once you finally make it out of here, you'll definitely never forget the sights. Unless, of course, you do.  
  97.  A small horde of Trimps comes running up towards you, making excited sounding noises. One of them walks to the front of the loud congregation and proudly holds up a boot, slightly larger but the same style as your own. It must be Druopitee's, confirmation that you're heading the right direction. You reward the Trimp who found it with some food and a few pats on the head, then send the boot to the lab to look for any further clues. You wonder why he took his boot off.  
  98.  Your scientists have informed you that half of the boot is now lost in another dimension, thanks to an 'important' test. The results were inconclusive. You ask them to please leave the remaining half in our current dimension, and they look disappointed.  
  99.  What's this now?! You found a little green piece of metal. Your scientists tell you that it came from a toxic dimension, but that it is also from a dimension rich in helium. They let you know that they can tune your portal to travel to the dimension it originated from, should you want to check it out.  
  100.  That last Improbability seemed like a nice guy.  
  101.  Hopefully spaceships don't rust.  
  102.  You reach the top of an incredibly large mountain. You can see at least 50 zones sprawled out before you. About 30 zones away, you can see a gigantic spire. It looks like architecture from your home world. You hope it's not a mirage...  
  103.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  104.  Something smells purple. That's probably not good.  
  105.  Strange smells continue to swell around you. Judging by changes in wind direction, the smells are coming from the spire. You still can't describe it other than purple.  
  106.  Your Trimps seem happy. They're not used to having a purpose, and having one seems to positively affect them! You call a Trimp over and ask him how he's doing, then you remember that he can't talk.  
  107.  You found a map to an Imploding Star inside of a supercooled dimension. The temperature there is perfect!  
  108.  You're still not quite sure what that smell is. You feel slightly more powerful, and you fear that your enemies may feel the same way.  
  109.  After clearing out the previous zone, you decide to take a day hike to the top of another gigantic mountain to try to find more info about the smell. As you reach the top, your jaw drops. Clear as day, a healthy amount of purple goo is pouring into the atmosphere from the top of the spire. You can see the zones in front of you beginning to change. This really can't be good.  
  110.  Well, there's not really much doubt about it anymore. Some sort of intelligence is intentionally making life more difficult for you and your Trimps. You take this as a sign that you're pretty important, why else would something risk destroying an entire planet to stop you? Your parents would be so proud.  
  111.  The corruption seems to be more pronounced the closer you get to the Spire. Looks like there's 8 of em now.  
  112.  You have trouble putting in to words exactly what the Corruption does to the creatures on this planet. They seem to be stripped of all natural abilities and given powers that you didn't know could exist in the primary dimension.  
  113.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  114.  None of these corrupted enemies seem to have eyes, so you decide to see if you can get away with flipping one off. As it reacts by roaring and stomping around in a rage, you realize that these things are powerful enough not to need eyes to observe the world. What are these?!  
  115.  You awaken from your sleep in a cold sweat to a frantic and terrified noise from the back of the cave where you were sleeping. With urgency, you run to the source of the noise to make sure your Trimps are okay. As you reach the back, you see a handful of Trimps trying to use a small and very angry Snimp as a musical instrument. You put some sand in your ears and go back to sleep.  
  116.  The corruption continues to thicken as you near the Spire. You're beginning to grow accustomed to the smell of the Spire, and really don't mind it anymore. It reminds you of blueberries. Evil blueberries.  
  117.  You're so close to the source of corruption that you can taste it, and it doesn't taste good.  
  118.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  119.  You found a map to an even more advanced version of the Bionic Wonderland! Looks scary... Your scientists remind you that you can only carry 3 of these incredibly heavy, metallic maps at a time.  
  120.  The voice booms again, and sounds as if it is coming from the walls themselves.  
  122. It has been forever, yet now we meet,  
  123. I'm not surprised you don't remember me.  
  124. I believe it is I who you currently seek,  
  125. Lifetimes ago I was Druopitee.  
  126. On our planet you and I studied time,  
  127. We realized Warp Speed could affect that line.  
  128. I took our work in a ship of my own design,  
  129. To test the effects of our new paradigm.  
  131. Oh yeah. That's where you knew him from! Wait doesn't he owe you some money? You feel fair taking a vial of 40 Nullifium from a research table.  
  132. My tests made other dimensions appear,  
  133. I found this planet in one and flew here.  
  134. There were hordes of enemies, if that wasn't clear,  
  135. The finding was huge but the threat severe.  
  137. Ah, so you're in a different dimension than your friends and family, comforting.  
  138. To stay safe, I built many large towers.  
  139. I'd climb up, and I'd peer out for hours.  
  140. I searched for lifetimes, my mind became devoured,  
  141. then one day I found a way to gain power.  
  143. Dammit Druopitee. This is all going to end up being his fault, isn't it? You help yourself to a container filled with 7.46e4 Helium, and figure he'll owe you a lot more than that once you hear some more.  
  144. After many lifetimes of observation,  
  145. I had finally found my salvation.  
  146. An airborne chemical to cause great mutation,  
  147. the Corruption was my new creation.  
  149. Yup, totally his fault.  
  150. I pumped Corruption up from my spires,  
  151. I watched as it spread outward like wildfires.  
  152. They now bowed to me, their brains freshly rewired,  
  153. I had almost all that I desired.  
  155. You feel like anyone willing to pump something called 'Corruption' into a planet's atmosphere probably qualifies as a supervillian. You feel no remorse taking another vial filled with 60 Nullifium!  
  156. But Trimps, who in numbers are tough as stone,  
  157. weren't changed and I couldn't control them alone.  
  158. So I got in my ship and I went to our home,  
  159. I brought you here to the native Trimp Zones.  
  161. You don't remember that, but are pretty sure you weren't OK with it. Kidnapping definitely justifies taking this research Heirloom you just found.  
  162.  You're not yet ready. Maybe you'll be of use in the next lifetime.  
  163.  You look back at The Spire and feel kinda bad that there's still a ton of Corruption coming out of it, but you'll get him some time.  
  164.  It smells extra corrupt. That Spire can't be healthy for the environment.  
  165.  Waiting to travel until your soldiers are finished.  
  166.  Waiting to travel until your soldiers are finished.  
  167.  You must finish or recycle your current map before moving on.  
  168.  Waiting to travel until your soldiers are finished. 
Written by Xan Manning, 2010.